top of page

Not feeling very "Valentiney"?

Valentine's day is another day that can be happy for some and difficult for others.

There are many reasons why you may find yourself alone on Valentine's day. Maybe you've chosen to be single or are not interested in a relationship. It's also possible that you're single for reasons outside of your control.

Not feeling very “Valentiney” doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you! In fact, despite the social stigma and apprehension about spending time alone, it’s something our bodies crave. Emerging research suggests that spending time alone, if done right, can be good for us.

Being on your own can be a very liberating experience. You can turn periods of alone time into an opportunity to embrace being single and learn how to be happy on your own- which is actually very important in helping you to understand who you are, and levels of contentment in your life going forward.

Benefits of alone time

There are a multitude of studies that highlight the benefits of solitude. Here are a few science-backed reasons for spending time alone:

1. Alone time helps you know yourself.

Being by yourself can help you become more comfortable in your own skin. When you’re alone you can make decisions for yourself without outside influences, giving you more insight in to what you actually want, what makes you happy and who you are as a person.

2. Alone time helps you to recharge

Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.

3. Alone time increases empathy.

Another indicates that a certain amount of solitude can make a person more capable of empathy towards others.

4. Solitude increases productivity.

Studies show that constantly being surrounded by people kills productivity. People perform better when they have a little privacy.

5. Solitude sparks creativity.

There’s a reason a lot of authors or artists want to go to a cabin in the woods or a private studio to work. Being alone with your thoughts gives your brain a chance to wander, which can help you become more creative.

6. Being alone can help you build mental strength.

Being alone at times may be just as important to our wellbeing as spending time around other people. Studies show the ability to be content with spending some time alone has been linked to increased happiness, better life satisfaction,less depression and improved stress management.

Get Proactive About Creating Time to Be Alone

The best way to manage feelings of loneliness on this day involves shifting your focus, aiming to be happy with what you already have, and spending some time with yourself.

“Take the opportunity to say, ‘This is the time where I can give something to myself,’ and just endorse that, in this moment, you are your first choice.” Dr. Nguyen, Psychologist

Be Your Own Valentine

Treat yourself! Buy yourself some of your favourite chocolates, a new book, that pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on. Or treat yourself to a relaxing bath or your favourite movie.

Make Other Plans

Plan a day that includes activities that you enjoy unrelated to Valentines Day, like;

Go for a walk

Try a new exercise class

Go to the movies

Have a shopping day

Plan a Date With Single Friends

If you have single friends, plan a date night with them! Spending some quality time with friends will keep your social skills strong and provide you with feelings of love on Valentines Day.

Reach Out to Someone

Take the opportunity to reach out to someone whom you haven't spoken to in a while. That person might be a family member, a friend, or even a potential romantic interest?

You never know who might also be feeling lonely on Valentine's Day. They may welcome the chance to catch up and connect.

Brighten Someone Else's Day

Treating someone else on Valentines Day would mean a lot and would make you feel good as well.

Just ignore it!

It’s not written in stone that everyone should partake in Valentine's Day. Afterall, it’s just another day on the calendar. Just get on with your normal day to day activities and don’t worry about it.

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page